Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

What's the most incredible coincidence that ever happened to you?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I can count

Why do most Indian women cuckold or cheat on their husbands?

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What is the moral stance on lying? Can you provide examples of when it is appropriate or inappropriate to lie? Does the Bible address this issue?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why does Nickelback, a popular Canadian alternative-rock band, receive so much hate? Is it because they are not considered "edgy" by some people?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Is it painful for men to wear bras, panties, and tampons?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Fallout Shelter has been downloaded over 230 million times in 10 years - Eurogamer

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What's an underrated/unknown novel or series that you think deserves more attention?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

How can I help my cat adjust to sleeping in its own room after allowing it to sleep with us as a kitten?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why do you think most harem anime and manga have lame male protagonists that would be considered losers and pathetic by most people?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I actually pay taxes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

In your humble opinion, why does the narcissist mistake kindness for weakness in some people?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

If Trump were to lose in 2024, would that be the end of his grip on the Republican Party?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Do you have any problem dating a younger man?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have a reading level above third grade

I can read

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I see through liars

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup